no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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