Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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