he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
That's intense
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
