I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
