Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
