Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
