AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
