You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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