they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
