for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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