Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Randomize
