that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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