He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize