The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
