Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
