he told me I talked like a deaf person
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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