Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
