He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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