if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
