I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize