i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
