dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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