my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She's the barista slut.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
