Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
