two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sext me about skeletons
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
