I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
