just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
