I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
