What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
