Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
