I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
