Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
