I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
