chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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