Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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