Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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