the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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