I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
