I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
