I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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