What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize