There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
