oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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