The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
