Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
