Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
