A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
