Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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