Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Randomize
