i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
