What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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