if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sorry my hands just texted you
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
