The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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