Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
