Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
