the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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